William Ury: The Walk from “No” to “Yes”

Today we watched a video in class called “The Walk from “No” to “Yes”” where William Ury did a TED talk about conflict. Here is the video:

I felt that Ury’s message is a very simple concept, but may be hard to do in a conflict situation. If a person is mad at you it may be hard to sit back and think about the situation and what to say. Ury stated that the “secret to peace is the third side and the third side is us”. I think what he meant by this is that a third person can be there to not pick a side, but help resolve the situation and help the two people come to a resolution. Ury also stated that when you are in a conflict you should “go to the balcony”. I think this means that when you are in a conflict you should take a minute and breathe and think about what you are going to say so you do not regret anything. I think I will be able to use this with my students, my colleagues, family, my school, and my community, as when I am in a conflict I could go to the “balcony”, so I do not say anything I regret and think about the situation and cool down. In a classroom situation I think the teacher is there to be the third side sometimes, as they are in a neutral position and trying to get the students to resolve the conflict. I remember in elementary school my school try to teach students how to be the “third person”, as we had conflict mangers. Conflict mangers were grade 5 students that were “working” during recess and if students had a conflict they would go to the conflict mangers to resolve the problem. The goal was to get students to resolve their own problem instead of asking the teachers. Something you need an outside perspective to help you resolve the problem. My only concern with this is that the third person should not pick sides they should just be the mediator on the situation, but sometimes people pick “who was right” and that does not help the situation.